“Who are you? Who am I?”
Who are you? Who am I? I have been trying to figure out all my life who am I? Am I the person who my parents wanted me to be? The individual who needed a job, and wanted to have something that was stable and secure, so that I would be taken care of all the days of my life? Or am I that woman who always wanted to be that Fashion Designer, who wanted to make a difference by creating a magnificent blouse with a pocket and a collar. Who am I? Who am I? Am I, am I, the woman who wanted to become a Doctor but was so afraid of blood she couldn’t even deal with putting a Band-Aid on a little finger. Who am I? Who am I? The question is just so amazing, and every time you ask it to yourself it becomes even more creative and complicated. Who am I today? Who was I yesterday? Who am I to my peers? Who am I to my family? Who am I to myself? Who am I?
Let’s not even talk about what am I; because the what doesn’t even have a purpose if you can’t figure out the who, who am I? Who am I, and who do I want to be, and what do I want to be? I want to be an amazing expression of God’s, that is who I want to be; I want to show out into the World that what was here was supposed to be here, and what manifested out of that is this amazing person who was able to make such a difference in this World, that she was able to make a difference to herself as well. Who am I? What am I? What am I to be? Am I to be just this carbon copy of what I find around in this World so that I can be like everybody else; I don’t want to be like everybody else, that is why I colored my hair the shade of cranberry that it is.
I want to be different, I want to be spectacular, I want to be a vision of something that is different, but something that is good and positive. I’m not here to scare little children and babies, I am here to be myself, and if the fact that I have my hair the color of a cranberry dream sets your mind to dream of things that are different, and unusual, well baby here I am, here I am; in all my Glory, and all my beautifulness here I am. I used to know a young lady who would say, I am so beautiful to herself, and to anyone else who would listen, I kid you not. And I would say to her that yes, you are beautiful, but so am I. And she would say, God bless her soul; she would say, oh no no no, you misunderstand me, I am so beautiful. But what is always so amazing about people that think of themselves as so beautiful is that sometimes they are the only ones.
Because the inside is not as beautiful as what they portray or what is projected on the outside. We are all beautiful, we are all magnificent, and we are all beautiful loving expressions of this World, of our God, and of our existence. I kid you not when I would say to this young lady, that yes you are beautiful; but so is everybody else, and what is so amazing about that, is that when we are all beautiful, we are all seen; the world is just not looking at you, the world is looking at me too; and Sally Sue down the block, and Curly Sue around the corner, and Jack and Jill around the block; it’s not just about you; but if you think it is just about you, than that’s the beauty that you will portray out into this World.
But as I have always tried to say to people, I am not here to make you feel better about yourselves, I am not here to make you feel complete about yourself, no, what I am here for is to just make you think, and as you use these thoughts that are in your mind to show you that yes; I am beautiful as well, we all are beautiful, we all shine out a beautiful bright shining star out into this world, we all are magnificent, and the sooner that you realize that for yourself, the sooner you will shine out into this world, who and what you are. When you ask yourself who am I, the answer should come back that you are amazing, you are gifted, you are what we all have been waiting for, but you have to figure that out for yourself, and believe me when I tell you it doesn’t’ take someone else, to make you who and what you need to be for yourself. Look at yourself, and enjoy the magnificence of what it is, see yourself for the magnificent expression that you are; it doesn’t take someone else to tell me that I am beautiful for me to know that within my heart that I’m beautiful because I am.
And it doesn’t’ take someone else to certify that for me, it doesn’t take someone else to recommend or help me, and make me find that out, I know that on my own right, and how long did it take me to figure that out. How long did it take me in my life, to realize that because this child with the loud boisterous voice, with the big bone structure, with the flamboyant style, dress and hair, was who she was meant to be. Don’t make me change myself to make you feel comfortable, and don’t change yourself to make me feel comfortable, be who you are, and be it magnificently; and if you are a red-headed African American woman from the Southside, than be that; and if you feel you have some Irish roots in you from way back then be that; but be yourself, and be who you are, and love who you are, because believe me when I tell you, you are amazing; look at yourself in the mirror and see for yourself your eyes twinkling in the light, see the beauty that has always been upon you, and it is so illuminating.
Yes, there was a time when I didn’t know how beautiful I was, and there was a time when I didn’t’ know how beautiful you were, but guess what, we’ve all been enlightened, we’ve all been transformed, and we’ve all evolved. Look at yourself and see the beauty that God sees in you, look at yourself, and see the beauty that you should see in yourself, and look at yourself, and marvel at what has been created, and for that we say in thanksgiving, thank you God, thank you God, and thank you God, and so it is, amen and amen, God bless you all.