“I used to be afraid”
For the first time in my life I am not afraid. For the first in my life, I am not afraid. All my life I have had to deal with obstacles, and I have had to deal with pluses and minuses in my life. The pluses of being married to a magnificent man, who loves me and supports me whole heartily, and the minuses of having to deal with day-to-day struggles like everyone else; you struggle with your job, you struggle with friendships, you struggle with your faith, you struggle; and when I was younger I used to take these struggles so much to heart. I would actually be afraid most of the time. Whenever there was a closed door meeting I would think they were talking about me, and whenever there was whispering, I would think they were talking about me. But then something amazing happened it was called maturity in my faith. Maturity in my faith allowed me to understand that it didn’t matter who was talking about me, and it didn’t matter why they were talking about me, if I knew that the one that I talked to, was listening to me.
I am at a crossroads in my life; I was just told yesterday that I would be served with something (an adverse action) that’s not very positive so they say. It’s kind of like being given news from the doctor that it’s not all good today; well I tell you I’m not taking that news to heart, because I serve an amazing Father, and my Father told me I will provide for you, when no one else will provide for you, I will provide for you. When no one else will stand by you, I will stand by you, and when no one else would speak up for you, I will speak up for you.
So you think about that, and you think about all you have; and, you think about what it all means if it was to be stripped away from you. You think about how would you feel to have everything, and then to one day lose everything as well. And then you begin to decide what is it that you’re really losing at all. Is it the fact that the thing that you have been shown in your life that has become a barrier to you expressing yourself more fully in all facets to the World, is something that you feel you must cling on too, when you’re constantly being shown that you need to let it go. Not everyone is suited for a job with the State of California, and not everyone is made up of the stuff that you need to deal with the minutia of it all day in and day out.
So you stuck in there and you’ve fought the good fight, and as you near your options of retirement, you have another fight to fight again. But see this time the fight will be different, because this time you’ve got somebody really on your side, you have the Heavenly Spirit and he doesn’t play. So this time instead of doing what you’ve done in the past, which has been to scream about it, and to yell about it, and to cry about it, and to say why me about it, you’re going to sit back, and let the Heavenly Father do his work about it. You’re going to relax, and let the Heavenly Father show you what he can do. Let the Heavenly Father show a demonstration of his love and his power in your life.
The Heavenly Father says I will provide for you, you trust in me, you put all of your faith in me, in all your concerns, and I will provide for you. And what was once something you had only dreamed about happening in your life, I will give that to you and more, for you are my child. I used to be afraid all the time, I used to be afraid all the time, and now I am afraid no longer, for the Heavenly Father has said to me, I will provide for you and because of that I am free. I await your demonstration my Father, I await your demonstration of love in my life, and I will rest assured thy will will be done. I am not afraid anymore, I am no longer afraid in my life, and it feels so good, so good; to stand up and say you cannot hurt me, you cannot hurt me, for I am a child of the Mighty I Am, and I am thankful for all that God does for me. The blessings are still coming, the blessings being rained down on me are still coming, and I feel a satisfaction, I feel a satisfaction in my heart, I feel a quietness, and a calmness in my heart.
And it’s almost, it’s almost kind of amazing, as I am saying to myself; you aren’t normally, you normally would be jumping on the walls about this, you normally would be crying your eyes out about this, and saying woe is me and why is me, and blah blah blah, but you’re not doing that, and if that makes some people feel uneasy because I am so calm and so collected about it all, well you will have to deal with that on your own, because I can’t help you with that, but I can help you with this. There is nothing that can be bestowed upon you in a negative manner that the Heavenly Father can’t take away and bring a blessing into your life. There is nothing that can be thrust upon you, that the Heavenly Father can’t take off of you, and show you the sun is shining again; no, do not get discouraged, do not feel uneasy, and do not feel that all is lost.
Because today is the beginning of a new day; the sun is shining, the sky is bright, and God is here, and He is inside of you, and the Heavenly Spirit is telling you that you will be provided for, don’t you worry. I thank you God for making me feel reassured, I thank you God for steadying my ship in this storm of change and necessary betterment for me, and I thank you God for loving me so much, and showing me how it is to love as well. I will always cherish my love of the Heavenly Spirit with others, and I will always feel safe and know that that is possible, and God for this I can only say thank you God, thank you God, and thank you God, and so it is. Amen and amen