My Life is Exactly What I Wanted It to Be
One of the most amazing things I have begun to realize is that my life is exactly what I wanted it to be. And the other thing I have realized is to be careful what you wish for because you will get it. So I have been thinking about my upcoming retirement which now I am going to use a word from an amazing spiritual leader I met and the word is re-firement. I am not considering my leaving the State of California’s employment as a retirement as much as I am now going to be able to re-fire my life in the direction that I now know it was meant to be. Let me explain, I have wanted I thought just lately but in actuality it has been my dream all along to have a life filled with adventure. I thought that my life was dull and that what I needed was to have an adventure to really show me and others that I have lived. And to make sure because of that adventure that I have left a mark that states to the world and to myself that I was here and I lived a life. Interesting uh, but little did I know that my entire life has been and is still just one big adventure after another. I not only have had an adventure I have had some amazing celebratory periods in my life; and I have also had some amazingly negative periods or as we like to call them in the spiritual world trials and tribulations. But through it all I never really realized that my entire life has been joyful as it has been amazing as well.
So when someone thinks about an adventure they think about doing something new and different. Something amazingly eventful so that they can look back at the pictures that they have taken and are able to say see look at these I did that. But when you put aside the idea of adventure and look at what you have accomplished in your life just from the trials, the errors, the celebrations and the accomplishments; you begin to realize that those themselves are the true adventures of your life. When I think about when my husband and I bought our first home we were so young and so excited. And when circumstances beyond our control occurred we lost that house but not before allowing his Father, my Father-in-Law the opportunity to die in dignity with family the way he wanted to as we took the journey with him and his prostate cancer. What an adventure that was and what a lesson of courage we witnessed as my Father-in-Law said goodbye to each of us on that amazing evening of pasta, friends and love. Each of us was given our time to say goodbye to him and each of us were given from him just what we meant to him and to this world. So uplifting and so inspirational was that period in our lives.
I remember falling madly in love with my husband and then realizing after 18 years of marriage that we had somehow fallen out of love with each other. The idea of an evening together found us each on our perspective corners of the couch watching television, not speaking to each other and not talking about the enormous elephant in the room at the time. But as with all things and with each event in your life there is a lesson to learn, and sometimes that lesson is one that is hard to admit to yourself that you, yes you are the reason behind the void that you are feeling with each other. You don’t listen to each other, you don’t talk with each other and as things are going along you don’t care if this is even going to change. But then something does change and something does make you open up your heart and your mind to see that you still love each other and you still care for each other. And if you would just listen to each other and talk to each other instead of talking at each other you just might be able to make this thing called a relationship really work for both of you after all. Yes, I am so glad we had experienced that pain in our relationship because what came out of that pain has been many more wedding anniversaries (going on the 31st one now) and a clear understanding that we truly do love each other and it is because of this love that we are willing to fight to keep this marriage together and alive for both of us to be happy together.
Yes, I thought in the beginning of my life that what I wanted was an adventure, but actually what I received was a joyful explanation of what life truly is. Life is blissfully wonderful when you finally realize that the love of God allows you to love yourself and others with the patience that joy brings up to the surface. As I always say to others when they ask why do bad things happen to good people or why has this happened to such and such they were or they are such good people. And my answer to that is and will forever be exactly what God has always told us. Rain falls on the just and the unjust, there is never any difference made to who should be rewarded and who should be punished, but alas it is what we learn and how we grow from the rain that does fall on us which brings us the most joy in our lives.
Let today be the day that you see life and all of its ugly and beautiful parts, all of the just and the unjust that is happening today in the world, as an opportunity for each one of us to grow and to find out from whatever circumstance it is that there can be joy in the morning. There can be joy in the afternoon and yes there can be joy in the evening for we are all here to learn from the rain that falls, just as we are all here to learn from the celebratory balloons that fall as well. May today be the day that you find within yourself the growth that your soul so needs and requires from you as we go forward together in this walk of life, and so it is. Amen and amen