“Acting with integrity brings me peace”

One of the most amazing things that I have been experiencing lately is how I have changed since I have come back from my trip to the Parliament of the World’s Religions.  I think I had originally expected a really huge Aha moment I wanted to go on this Spiritual journey to feel something in my life that was going to speak to me, oh about what my destiny was, or what my mission was or what I was here to be and all of that.  But I didn’t get that really big Eureka moment that I had been looking for, but what I have been telling people is that when I came back I felt differently, very different.  Some things matter more to me more than anything else than I have ever ever felt. And one of those things that matters more to me was my beloved Husband and us worshiping together.  For a while my husband and I had not been going to the same Spiritual home, my husband had his reasons and I respected them.  But I had duties and obligations at my Spiritual home and I felt I had to do what was right to do.  But then I started seeing who was it right for; I don’t know how long have to live on this planet, none of us do.  And as I heard from a story on Oprah’s mini-series Belief, the day we are born is one day closer to the day that we will die.  Our lifetimes are such a short period of time, such a short span-of-time.

And I have realized more so than not that time, time is something that is very very special to me.  How I use my time, who I use my time with and how my time is being of benefit and of service to serving the Lord is very important to me.  So when I came back from the Parliament of the World’s Religions I had to make some decisions I knew that.  And I had thankfully I was given a lot of prompts from Spirit on the decisions that I needed to make.  I remember receiving an email the day I was to attend the latest Board of Trustees meeting that I was going to and the email said to me, and it came just just as you get random emails from different sources.  I think this one may have come from Deepak Chopra’s website and it said know when, know when, know when it’s time to quit, know when the time is to quit and close the door and say goodbye to something.

And I said wow this is so amazing because I am vacillating back and forth should I be on the Board still, should I continue to be on the Board, I just wasn’t feeling what I needed to be feeling.  I wanted to feel peace and Heaven and joy and I was not feeling that any more.  So I made a decision that I was already going to resign from the Board and then a situation came into my life that brought it even more into focus that I needed to do that and to be honest with you I feel a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders to be a non-member of the Board of Trustees of Unity of Sacramento, my church.  There is work to be done and there are good people to do the work, but I must do my work in another area where I can be of service to the Lord.

And then I had to make some other decisions; I had to make some other decisions and the decisions that I made were I need to worship with my husband.  My husband and I take our worship, take out faith, take our love of God very seriously; and it brings no peace to my soul to sit in the congregation of my Spiritual Home without my husband beside me. So I decided to back away from the Spiritual Home that I have called home for many many years so that I could be where my husband and I can go together as a family.  He and the relationship that we have with each other means more to me than any other relationship on this planet.  I don’t know why it was so hard for me to see that earlier how important it was for us to worship together.

And then there was another duty that I had to step away from as well.  There are more things coming in my life I’m not done I feel this; I have been a Prayer Chaplain with my church for over three years.  I have loved that duty, I have loved that commitment I have loved what God has done through me and how God has allowed me to help others with prayer, I will always be a Prayer Warrior as a servant of the Lord, I will always forever be that.  But I felt that something else was coming out of me, something else that I needed to pursue and I need to pursue that in my own way.  So I put myself in Prayer Chaplain Emeritus status, I put myself in a suspense status because I am on a journey, and the journey that I am on I need my total total commitment to realize that to find that to figure that out I need to be able to move through this with my senses and facilities of 100 percent.

I am seeking something, and I need to be able to find that, so it is my integrity, the integrity that I have that I don’t do anything half way.  I’m not in and out, I’m in or I’m out so at the present time I love my Spiritual family, I love my Spiritual home.  But I love God and I love the God within me and I love my Husband and we will take this time he and I to find a place where we can be together so that we can worship together, and I will continue to find what I am seeking for that is going to allow me to receive what I need to receive as well.  God is not through with me, it is only the tip of the iceberg but in order for me to be a part of whatever this new journey is I must start anew, and I am excited and I look forward to what I am to do in this next part of the Spiritual path that I am on.

I have been telling people little by little of my decisions and I have felt so open, so open to receive what is mine to receive as I’m going through this journey.  I am open my Father, I am open and I am ready to receive your instruction, I am open my Father.  I am open and I am ready to receive what needs to be given to me so that I can do, and be and receive, and allow and achieve what needs to be coming out of me to be a benefit and a service to this world.  Yes, maybe I did receive my Eureka moment when I went to the Parliament of the World’s Religions, maybe I did receive the moment that I had been looking for all along because I feel that I am on a journey now that is so exciting, so exciting.  I thank you God for allowing me to come with an open mind and an open heart and to surrender myself to your, your mission, your will.  I’m on this journey, I am open to receive, I look forward to what I receive from you, I look forward to what I receive from you, I look forward to the journey as we go forward together, and so it is, Amen and amen

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